VELA

Getting married in Hungary.

What actually happens, what you have to book here, and what it takes to be married rather than to have had a wedding. Every statement on this page was read and corrected by someone who grew up with it before we published any of it.

What happens on the day

Some of it you will want and some you will not. None of it is compulsory — it is here so that nothing arrives as a surprise on somebody else’s say-so.

  1. Before the day

    1. Kikérő

      about 4 hours before the reception

      The groom and his party come to fetch the bride from her family, and are made to earn her — riddles, tasks, a bit of theatre at the door. It is the first thing that happens and it sets the tone for the day.

  2. The reception

    1. The vőfély’s verses

      as the reception opens

      The vőfély announces the day in rhyme — the courses, the customs, who is about to be embarrassed. An older tradition that has receded: still alive at rural weddings, less common in Budapest.

    2. Hajnali tyúkleves

      about 3 hours in

      Chicken soup, served hot to people who have been dancing. The name says dawn, but in practice it often arrives as part of the evening rather than at the end of it.

  3. Late night

    1. The midnight cake

      about 4.5 hours in

      The cake comes out well after dinner, often with sparklers and the lights down. Not dessert — dessert was hours ago.

    2. Menyasszonytánc

      most weddings

      about 5 hours in

      The bride’s dance. Guests pay for a turn with her, a few bars each, and the money goes to the couple. It is loud, it takes a while, and it is the part most guests are waiting for.

    3. Kontyoló

      about 5.5 hours in

      Late in the night the bride changes out of her dress and into the menyecske ruha, and returns as a married woman rather than a bride. It usually follows the menyasszonytánc.

Who you book here, and nowhere else

  • Vőfély

    expected here

    Usually booked about 8 months ahead.

    Not a toastmaster and not a DJ. A distinct, bookable profession who runs the day: announces the courses, leads the customs, keeps the room moving. A Hungarian wedding without one reads as incomplete to guests, and the good ones are booked a year ahead.

  • Wedding band

    Usually booked about 7 months ahead.

    A band that knows the repertoire a Hungarian wedding runs on, including what the menyasszonytánc needs. Book around seven months out.

  • Menyecske ruha

    Usually booked about 4 months ahead.

    The second dress, worn from the kontyoló onwards. Usually simpler than the wedding dress and easier to dance in, which is the point.

This is one country of sixteen.

If you are getting married in Hungary, or you work in weddings here, or you could tell us whether we have your own country right — the list is on the front page.

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